Anxious Attachment Therapist

Is your worst fear of being abandoned or forgotten by a loved one? If so, it’s possible that your attachment style is anxious. An attachment style talks about the nature of the bonds we form with other people. They were created in response to our childhood environment and helped us survive then. But in the case of insecure attachment styles such as anxious or avoidant styles – they keep us in unhealthy and paralyzing patterns in our adulthood.

In the case of an anxious attachment style, you may find people complaining that you are needy, clingy, or too sensitive. You may find that you work double time to keep people in your life, and yet the more effort you put in, the faster people seem to want to get away from you. It could also be that you freak co-workers or colleagues out because your insecurity makes you ultra-sensitive to criticism, robs you of your ability to work independently, and take leadership on your team.

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How does an anxious attachment style develop? 

Sounds awful. But if all of this boils down to just one core pattern, it’s not too bad is it?

An anxious attachment style speaks to insecurity that your primary caregiver (usually your mother) did not love you unconditionally. You felt you had to work to earn her love and responsiveness, and this made you frantic if you felt like you had done something wrong and would now be deprived of her attention and affection.

You are still stuck reliving this trauma in other relationships in your life.

How I can help

In therapy, we will trace back to your childhood to figure out what repetitive pattern you are stuck in. We will go from intellectual to emotional insight as to what part of your childhood disappointment you can make up for in your adult life, and what needs to be let go of and mourned.

We will come to an acceptance of how you work and are likely to for the foreseeable future. And finally, we will improve on your ability to communicate your needs and feelings calmly, using your words so you can explain to people what you feel when they seem to be abandoning you.

Avoidant attachment

If you've got an anxious attachment style, it's likely you're a magnet to people with avoidant attachment. Read on!

Attachment styles

Want to know more about attachment theory and this thing called attachment styles? We've got you covered.