Divine Union

The last five days I have seen angel numbers everywhere. Example – 1111, 2222, 4444, 8888, 9999 and a whopping 7 7777; all on license plates. That’s how Archangel Raphael talks to us healers, in numbers and through his colour, incidentally my lifelong favourite, bottle green.

So I kept asking myself, fresh from vacation in Malpe, feeling solitudanal and pragmatic about my prospects in love, what were the angels trying to tell me?

I have been preoccupied with the idea of union, that is the perfect balance of masculine and feminine energies, or transcending duality in a dual world, for years now.

2015, Elephant Journal would not stop talking about twin flames and the initiation number on the spiritual path – 11:11. MAKE A WISH they said, CALL IN YOUR TWIN, they said.

At the time I was depressed for the second time, recouping at home in Gandhinagar. One day pa and I were sitting out on the swing and I saw 11:11 on his digital watch.

This is it, I thought. This is the sign I asked for, that it’s okay to go back to Delhi and finish my damn masters. So I trudged back, to a small hostel room in a highly regulated Air Force hostel.

What followed is a long journey of coming into union with myself that involved an abusive relationship, a helluva lot of substance use, a truly awful period of recovery from codependency, and the beginnings of a relationship with my true desire.

A week before this long awaited vacation, I got an Enso symbol tattooed on my chest. I felt whole. Complete. In union with myself, able to let my wrist fall if it wanted, and punch if it needed.

Five days ago I started seeing angel numbers again after months, and today I believe I am in union with my twin.

BUTT – it’s not a concept I found useful to get hung up on. Soulmate, twin, karmic, karmic twin whatever. Love is love.

I am still learning to stop identifying with the struggles from my past, chiefly with attachment anxiety and codependency. But he tells me to shut up and let him do things his way

And because I trust in the divine, I will trust us with this, and whatever happens, will, and we’ll be fine, me, myself and I.

Aqseer (Iqra) Sodhi

Book an appointment with me at sodhiaqseer@gmail.com. More on psychotherapy with me here.